Out.

Haven't been to the range in a bit. It's about time. AA, SM, and myself are supposed to take the "Reverend Doctor" out shooting in the next few weeks. The REV seemed genuinely excited when we invited him to the range. Should be interesting shooting with a man of God and a good chance to have some interesting conversation with him outside of the Sunday setting. I will certainly be posting an AAR on that one.

Thanks to fellow scanning and COMMO enthusiasts out there I have discovered a couple of great resource sites/message boards for all of your COMMO Geek needs: http://www.northwestradio.com and http://www.radioreference.com Thanks guys, great sites!

P and I are on a 'break.' I requested some space and that was a little over a week ago. The more I think about it, the more I realize that she is indeed a wonderful woman....just not the wonderful woman for me. I have also realized that I do know if I ever want kids. With P there is no room to debate this one given her situation. I am also realizing that I do enjoy some level of being a 'loner.' I have people I like being around, I like engaging in conversation and debate (internet and otherwise), but I like having autonomy. I like having no on to answer to but God.

Going antenna shopping. More later.

Out.

That is all for now.

Out.

I am excited to be on the road to getting back into fun with COMMO! For those of you who don't know me, I was a COMINT (Communications Intelligence) focused field op in a former life. I missed being connected and of course spinnin' & grinnin' on occaision. So, since I am preparing to spend a lot more time in the wilderness from now on, I figured it a good time to get my radio shack and mobile rig in shape. First order of buisness is outfitting the Yota with a good CB kit. Anyone who has some good website suggestions for me in this process would be much appreciated. I have a MIDLAND 75822 HAND HELD CB on the way for GP and field use.
I am also interested in tracking down some info on some COMSEC gear that I can find in the civ world. Any ideas??

I feel so cornered and hemmed in my relationship with P. I feel like she thinks she knows me so well, when in reality....she doesn't know me at all. I honestly don't know whether that is due to me not letting her see the real me or her assuming a lot. Either way, she is getting hurt and I hate that part of it all. She has a good heart. We just aren't supposed to be. I have a feeling this one is going to play out slowly, she doesn't seem willing to let go even if I don't think things are going to work out. Is she more of a fighter than I am? No, well maybe, and I say that for this reason. A fighter in that sense will blindly fight, I am a warrior, I know how to recognize the fight worth fighting, the battlefield lost, and an impending victory. A warrior doesn't fall on his sword for every fight....but only those he sees as worthy. Sure it can be viewed as a more self-centered way of looking at it, in reality it's a matter of being shrewd and discerning....two things that are often great contributors to success and achievement in all aspects of life. Not the most romantic view I have ever had of a relationship, but it fits right now. So be it.

Time to capitalize on my re-invigoration. Time to build. It's time.

Out.

P and I aren't making the cut together. I hate upsetting her so, but I honestly think that our personality types are so different that we will often times find differences and miscommuncations. Granted, every couple fights. This, however, is different. I can't willingly commit myself for the rest of my life to a relationship in which the drama generated by the differences that seem to come with increasing regularity serves to destroy my balance, focus, and very spark that fuels things that I sincerely love about myself. Sound selfish? I don't care, there aren't that many things that I can genuinely say that I love about myself. That being said, I'll be damned if I am going to voluntarily crush those things at this point in my life for someone else's happiness. If love is sacrifice that makes you completely misrable....I'll pass for now. I'm an a**hole.

I enrolled in health benefits for the first time in my life since I left the military. It really feels good, safe. A little security isn't a bad thing. I also decided to devote a percentage of my check to puchasing company stock at work. It's a good time to get in on it seeing as the debt on the corporate balance sheet looks good paired with the fact that the price is very affordable because of the quiet internal restructuring and temporary stagnation in related markets. Trying new things....just might pay for the house that I have always wanted. Wait and see.

I'm sitting in the coffee house and the barista here is stunning. I find myself stealing a look here and there since I walked in the door. She's 5'9", beautiful eyes, an easy and genuine smile, redhead, gorgeous figure (athletic tempered with a feminine grace and allure). She is disarming. From our minor interaction she seems to have a gentleness and good heart that one doesn't often see. When I find "the one" will I stop being attracted to women in this way....or is it truly a less glamorous demanding manual commitment that requires me to simply beg off these attractions? I have always been an easy mark for a beautiful woman.

Went to the range the other night with AA and SM. Had a great time and got to try out the new Hi-Point Model 995 9mm Carbine I picked up at the show. (See phone pic below). It was great to get to hang out with the guys and unwind.

More to come.

Out.

Going to bed. Mixing This Holiday Life was fun. Good band, really nice guys, fun to work with. Certainly got to test the limits of that PA. That always makes things fun. Picture courtesy of me mixing it up tonight courtesy of NN. Thanks brother.

Alright, I'm crashing. G'night Kids.

Out.